Social media is the cool thing….and social media experts rank just below the Prime Minister of the country in terms of importance…fortunately India has millions of such experts…..including me….
The neighbourhood kinara store..just opened a Facebook page…now they are all selling products through an app…no lines no queue…they are giving personalized RFID tags to individual customers….to track the supply chain of requirements in the kitchen and before you know…you are cooking chicken wings on Facebook…
My dog trainer…has a Facebook page and Youtube channel with up to date FB videos of training manuals….I just have to chain my pooch to the front of my laptop….make him watch the videos….and i tell you the results are mind blowing…he has learnt to fetch water, read newspaper, play soccer, do calculus…and play the piano…..all because of the power of social media…
- Courtesy@lolzombie.com – I loved this image. Hence used it. If you ask me I will take it down
My doctor recently uploaded all his medical prescriptions on an app which could be downloaded on app stores…..only for $ 2. He recently went one step further….to release an Ipad book version of the same …..NY times subscribed to it in 10 hours….he recently closed his clinic and offers all consultation on Youtube…and Facebook….for emergency you can try twitter….and he will dispense medicines via a hashtag#…his app store on iTunes has commanded over 10 billion hits….which has made both Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg to toy with the idea of dispensing health care on Facebook and IPhone ….cos they know if they can solve America’s health care problem they can just become the next Prez….of the US of A…..who will then run the country and the world….only on Itunes and static FBML…
I have a friend who is another social media expert…he recently won a prestigious international award for gaining 3,00,000,,00000 likes on a FB page he had created….the jury decided in terms of sheer genius this was just after Einstein’s Theory of Relativity….he has a real shot at winning the Nobel…later this year….
My travel agent now has a virtual app which gives a 3D experience of any city in the world….its on Facebook….recently he held a marriage on 3D in The Castle Versailles followed by a boat ride down the Danielli….in Venice for a couple in Kerala….who just logged in to the app with 3D specs…dressed in traditional South Indian gear in the nearby Kalyan Mantapa, now armed with 4G broadband…he says this is becoming popular….with less stress for international travelers….he sends my travel tickets on tweets these days….
My Bai….Parvati…has a 24/7 helpline for all her clients….on Twitter….she tweets about her inabilities to do any work on any day of the week with regular ability on twitter to spread awareness among client base….needless to say we are all extremely aware and thereby happy with this great innovation…..
My parents recently gifted me a virtual Lamborghini using an app on Facebook on my birthday….you can imagine how happy i was!….i drive it all the time these days….on Facebook…..i also got gifted virtual books , virtual wine, virtual chocolates…virtual love…seeing this amazing feat i shot an internal memo to the social media marketing guys at Hersheys and Lindt….they are taking their entire business online…all virtual chocolates….they sent me a cheque of ***** dollars for this amazing innovation of mine….i officially now am a *****naire…
My musician friend..recently crowdsourced the entire content and even musical arrangement for his song….all over Facebook status updates….and twitter..his original input was one line…..the rest was done by millions of people across the world….they gave him a Grammy today morning…for outstanding feat in music technology…..and the prize was shared by 4789845980023 people who had helped him….after hearing this..EMI music canceled all studio recordings…till further notice ….
They moved their entire music business on a collaborative platform…..and this increased their margins by over 3,876542 per-cent…in 8 hours…
In early 2000 i made one presentation with five slides on social media…one slide on blog, one slide on Facebook, one slide on Linkedin, one on twitter and one on Youtube….i have never needed to make any more presentations after that….recently Mark poked me on Facebook…to ask me to loan my award winning presentation to him for Davos….during the world economic forum to show how he intends to rule the world one day….I immediately shared with him my slide share link….which was beamed using Livestream…..
After that i have received 2 million calls on Google talk…and Skype by eminent world leaders to make presentations on world domination using social media….the 4th world war is going to be on Facebook…..each country would have a page…..and some countries would “like ” a country…and others wont….the future of politics is social…
Zynga is secretly working on a new game which will be the mother of all games….it’s called “Sanction”…the game follows the basic simple process of getting anything sanctioned in India…and has amazing levels of skills like patience, come back after lunch, pay some bribe, get an agent, pay some more bribe, ….u get the picture…..trial runs have been super successful and Dr Singh is making this game mandatory for all members of the cabinet….
I was recently invited to launch the 27th social media boutique store operating out of my neighbourhood….they are all doing great!…and have truckloads of business….and are located in 27 different flats of my apartment complex!!
Given my extremely mediocre and below par intelligence … and tremendous lack of originality….I am now reading on successful social media case studies of things that have done done..so that i can successfully copy them and then counsel people on effective social media “strategy”…it is not that difficult… most of them have done the same thing in different countries with different clients some 45873209875468 times…but it is working….”Only thing…keep two slides….right up front…strategy and innovation….
Social media is the in-thing…and we are all social media experts….amen!
